Hi. I perhaps come from a similar perspective to you, in that I enjoy what you describe as the ‘lighter’ side (albeit as a bisexual woman rather than straight man). By that I mean I share your wish not to control or coerce (even as a role play), so much as to enjoy assisting someone in gaining who is into it themselves. While my upper limits for what weight I find attractive is pretty high, I do think there’s something quite special about those early gains- even just a few pounds really shows up on the body when someone is just becoming overweight in a way they perhaps don’t so much when someone is already super sized.
I think for point one, it helps to be confident in your preferences, and your right to make choices around that. Maybe these smaller women are attracted to you but it doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate- you can hold out for someone who is really your type. It might take a bit longer but surely will be worth it! As an aside, one of the joys of finding myself single after quite a long relationship is that in my mid thirties I find the average BMI of the people who might potentially date me has definitely crept up since I was I was really young- great news for me!
I think if you try to be with women who are already a bit bigger, and just give lots of reassurance that you find them really attractive, don’t want them to lose weight and wish for them to be able to freely enjoy their food, that has to be a good start. They might be more receptive to gaining some weight, but if not they might at least be less inclined to lose weight. Of course making your partner feel sexy, attractive and appreciated as they are is good in any relationship.
That said, I think it can be hard to really broach, let alone fully explore, feeding and gaining stuff if the person isn’t really into it themselves. As you say, you don’t want them to feel obliged to do it, not do you want them to feel overly fetishised. I don’t know that I have a solution to that, but reading and hanging out in communities like this is probably helpful.
In terms of the sex when someone is really full, maybe like any sexual experience there can be some negotiation of what works for both of you. Maybe she doesn’t feel like having full sex (I can imagine that could be uncomfortable for some people), but perhaps could lie back and get belly rubs leading to mutual masturbation or something.
I hope any of that was useful, just thinking out loud really, wishing you all the best with things
I think for point one, it helps to be confident in your preferences, and your right to make choices around that. Maybe these smaller women are attracted to you but it doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate- you can hold out for someone who is really your type. It might take a bit longer but surely will be worth it! As an aside, one of the joys of finding myself single after quite a long relationship is that in my mid thirties I find the average BMI of the people who might potentially date me has definitely crept up since I was I was really young- great news for me!
I think if you try to be with women who are already a bit bigger, and just give lots of reassurance that you find them really attractive, don’t want them to lose weight and wish for them to be able to freely enjoy their food, that has to be a good start. They might be more receptive to gaining some weight, but if not they might at least be less inclined to lose weight. Of course making your partner feel sexy, attractive and appreciated as they are is good in any relationship.
That said, I think it can be hard to really broach, let alone fully explore, feeding and gaining stuff if the person isn’t really into it themselves. As you say, you don’t want them to feel obliged to do it, not do you want them to feel overly fetishised. I don’t know that I have a solution to that, but reading and hanging out in communities like this is probably helpful.
In terms of the sex when someone is really full, maybe like any sexual experience there can be some negotiation of what works for both of you. Maybe she doesn’t feel like having full sex (I can imagine that could be uncomfortable for some people), but perhaps could lie back and get belly rubs leading to mutual masturbation or something.
I hope any of that was useful, just thinking out loud really, wishing you all the best with things
1 year
